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just a word of warning: DON"T DO FLORIDA IN AUGUST

with some extra vacation days that needed to be used before the end of august, i decided to travel and hang with my mom who was at the time in Florida finishing up her final weekend of a 9 week internship. and not to be a complete kill-joy, and while time with her was great, time in Florida was not...not great at all. it was beautiful, and would be better if you could be inside (airconditioning) looking outside (beautiful) all the time. i loved the little gecko/lizard things, which i thought was a little odd since i have an intense phobia for other small crawly creatures. but the sunsets were beyond amazing on the Gulf coast, which was in the backyard of my mom's condo. ice cream reached new levels of satisfaction in the humid heat and the sand was soft and beautiful. people were so pleasant and friendly, but seriously, being outside was almost painful. especially when the water did nothing to cool you down, not at any time of the day or night.

it was raining ...downtown Sarasota...enjoying a MUCH needed bowl of homemade icecream...yummmmmm...thank goodness for Starbucks' iced coffees and frapachinos during a day of (window) shopping..:)
oh so soft on my feet:)
the beach...those storm clouds were unbelievable. We had the most amazing thunderstorm and lightning show once the sun set.

just to be clear...Florida is great, just not in August:)


in all honesty...sometimes i'm tired.

is there such thing as someone who is both attainable and unattainable at the same time??..where that person is totally into you and yet still a challenge? i think, since the dawn of time, there's always been something attractive about the unattainable. the challenge, no worry of commitment, lack of self esteem to expect any better, whatever it may be. and while i probably have all of those components when it comes to men, it's really frustrating sometimes when the completely unattainable guys are always the ones i find myself attracted to. unattainable by having a girlfriend, or by being mysterious, by sometimes being really nice and other times blowing you off completely.

in all honesty, sometimes i'm tired. tired of the questions about who i must be dating and the repeated responses that i like being on my own, or that i can't imagine my life differently right now, or that 'the timing just hasn't been right' or 'don't worry, i know it will happen when i'm not looking for it and i least expect it' or 'i'm working on me right now', the sympathetic (however well intentioned) glances or sighs or smiles. the awkward feeling of being third or fifth wheel, or being so excited about friends' progressions in their relationships when i have nothing to offer the conversation. sometimes i'm tired of the freedom to do whatever i want because it also means that no one else really cares about what i do. and yet the possibilities i find myself interested in, for whatever reason, would never happen.

and trust me, i don't write this for sympathy. i write it because sometimes, not always trust me, but sometimes i'm tired of saying it's all going to be ok..that's all.


an apology...sort of. monday started a little bumpy, i'll say...for me, and for the poor chump who works for Enterprise and made me late for work. by the end of the interaction, neither of us were very happy, and i have decided never to use Enterprise 'rent a car' on Pulaski and Archer ever again.

a couple months ago, sadly, i ran my car into the side railing of the median on lake shore drive. a small and heartbreaking fact that i believe didn't make the post sooner because i was embarrassed and felt pathetic for screwing up my nice perfect brand new car. so, it was finally time to give it away to greasy men who said they can fix it for three whole days. i feel like a mom with a baby, i miss it already and hope that they're taking care of it like i do...(or better considering the reason it's in the shop in the first place).

anyway...this morning i left early to bring the car to the scratch-fixer-upper-place, and stood outside waiting for my ride to Enterprise to get my rental. I called last wednesday and set up for them to come get me around 7:45 so that i wouldn't be late for work. 8am comes around and i call them to make sure that they're on their way. The guy on the other line saidn "oh, um, we'll have someone there in a few minutes." i said, "wait, have you not left yet?" to which he quickly replied "we'll be there in a few minutes" and hung up. from then on, something switched and i was furious. these are the reasons i came up with:
1. i HATE being late for work
2. i HATE being late for work when i planned everything to make sure that i wouldn't be late for work.
3. i HATE setting something up, especially when it's with an incompetant company that doesn't know how to follow through and deliver services that you're counting on.
4. i HATE when they know i'm really pissed and do Nothing about it, then try to charge me for a more expensive car because they didn't have any of the cheaper ones...the cheaper ONE that i already called about and they said they'd have ready. the guy has the gall to move as slow as absolutely possible, slowly types in my name and my information...then about 5 minutes later asks if i want to look around the parking lot to pick out a car. i said to him, "i really don't care. i want a car that will get me to work, i don't care what kind it is." he slowly kept going and had to ask a coworker what a Solara was. He gave me a Chrysler Sebring.

I wish i knew exactly why i became so mad so fast. and i couldn't shake it. the whole damn ten minute ride in the car with this annoying young guy just made me more pissed. i think it was because they screwed up and made me late, and he didn't even know what was going on.

mostly, i've been feeling stressed out all weekend about work, and i feel way behind when i get to work on time, let alone late. i've been going in early almost every day to make sure i'm on top of things and i get frustrated when i'm trying to be on top of things and other people's mistakes screw me up. and it's not like it was the worst thing in the world. i truly did survive. so i suppose that i should apologize for my behavior this morning. but it's nice that this is on the internet and that punk will never know ...


this is the replacement for the next two days...
uh, i like mine better...


Movies in the Park...

every tuesday in the summer...Grant Park...starts at sundown...
This week's treat:

shoot'em up, blow it up...nothing like Paul Newman and Robert Redford in the old western "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", on the big screen, sitting on the grass outside with a couple thousand people in the middle of the city. they were pretty hot as young actors...;)

i don't know what's playing next week, but in two weeks...The Sound of Music. anyone's invited...


some things that i love as of late....

this CD is great. i heard a few song from myspace and had trouble locating it a while back. since then, of course, it can be found at Target. but my sister, surprised me by sending it in the mail for me. She's amazing:):)

hanging with my friend B at a white sox game a couple weeks ago...we had fun, even in the nose bleed section:) They played the BLUE JAYS. and if you know anything about me, you know that i was stoked to see them play...:) Jays lost though...booo
The view from of the city from the stadium after the game... the sky was much more colorful than shown here, but what can you do? we were a short subway ride from home...:)

next was the AVP (Assocation of Volleyball Professional) Chicago Open which was played this past weekend at the beach near my house. i was able to go both days with my friend B, and we had an amazing time, watching both the Men's finals (Saturday) and Women's finals (Sunday)
these are the men's finals warm up...both the women and men's finals were shown on NBC. Sunday, we had court side seats so we were down on the front row, down in the left hand corner of the pic above...on replays i could see us on tv...WE WERE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION...yeha...haha
oh so much fun:):)

so, i've been in a 'bag' mood lately, and have recently purchased a couple really great ones...this one i purchased at the AVP Chicago Open. it's awesome.
and last but not least, i found this little guy last time i went grocery shopping. how cruel is that. to allow people to buy a small amount of cookie dough. who actually Makes eight cookies? you EAT 8 cookies-worth of cookie dough, you don't actually BAKE them. just horrible for the well intentioned diet. they're way too easy to eat in 2 sittings...or one...umm...

ok, so that's enough procrastination for me for a while. i'm tired of work. but i have SOO much to learn and soo much to read tonight. i feel like i'm fighting to keep above water but i'm feeling like i'm not sure i'm gonna make it. overwhelming.

and can i say it?? i miss my old team. a lot. change can be oh so bitter/sweet.
ok, back to the learning about how the State of Illinois has screwed us all over with Rule 132. oh, yeah, the state budget, which was supposed to be finished as of August 1, hasn't been passed yet cause the politicians can't agree on how to spend their money...and people might not get paid this month. checks. Thank good ness my company is good for three months of not getting state funding to continue paying it's employees, but if this keeps up, we could be in trouble too. the poor people in small not-for-profits that are getting f*^$ed.

and, one of my staff had her apartment broken into last night. her and the other 4 apartments in her building had things stolen...doors kicked completely in. thank goodness she wasn't home when it happened.
this world is scary...
and so, i try to enjoy the little things like cute bags, CDs, and cookie dough, that make me smile and make my days a little brighter:)


an unwanted view

the other day, i was driving home a different way than normal because my day ended at a client's house instead of at the office. as i drove home in the city streets instead of the highway, i enjoyed stop sign after stop sign, stop light after stop light. i finally got near my apartment and began the work of finding a place to park my car. as i was stopped at a stop sign, with a young family crossing the street in front of me, behind them i could see the lake, so blue. i glanced over a little to see a man who was sitting on a ledge by the side walk, probably waiting for someone to pick him up, or just a short rest on his walk somewhere else. he looked nice enough, and even though i only glanced at him for a couple seconds, i began to feel a bit uneasy. for here was a man, sitting by the sidewalk, resting his hands on his knees, open as many men sit, short shorts, and...what was that??? did i just see HIM peaking out of his shorts??? it couldn't be. that only happened on Friends when Pheobe's boyfriend gave the rest of the friends a view every time he stopped by in Central Perk to chat. No, no...ladies and gentleman...this really happened. and though for a second, as i finally turned the corner, i felt sad for him if he really, indeed was unaware that a cool breeze was reaching a part of his body that should be tucked away from the public eye...i thought about going around the block one more time to mention something. but responsibility??? i think not.

does anyone have a trick for getting unwanted pictures out of your head????