Wed.nes.day

so today was somewhat of a regular everyday kind of day, though, it's weird to make new year's resolutions that you actually care about. i realized i kept catching myself falling into regular patterns and routines that i've been trying to break and change.

Example of inner dialogue of today:

inner dialogue #1: (scene begins in car with client, lunch time, not much time to eat before next visit)
2009 me: eating at McDonald's would be great because 'client' said he's hungry and i can buy him lunch. i didn't bring lunch today anyways so i'll just grab some with him.
2010 me: but you've decided to eat more healthy and stop eating fast food.
2009 me: yeah, but i'm not going to buy this guy lunch and then wait for a subway to come along for me later, it's already after 1:30, i'm starved.
2010 me: that's why you should've made lunch today to bring to work so that you didn't have to bye from McDonald's
2009 me: yeah, but i couldn't get out of bed this morning and didn't have time. plus, i brought lunch three times last week and also on monday and tuesday this week so far...i'm 'bout due a fountain coke, damn it!!...
2010 me: you've made progress!! don't stumble now...!!!
2009 me: um. i'm in line and have to decide.
McDonald's drive thru machine: what can i get for you today ma'am?

in the fast-food-'2009 me'-vs-'2010 me'-war....'2009 me' won.

however...

'2010 me' did win the exercising-after-work-war, so i guess 2009 me is 1-0 and 2010 me is 0-1... could be worse.

some people think that this kind of inner dialogue and split personality is reason for seeking professional treatment, and frankly i'm not here to disagree. however, i do understand how changing the 'tape recorder,' as they say, going on in your mind can often change the way you feel and the behavior that ensues. and isn't being aware of it the first step??? ;)

well, now that i've eaten like crap today, but at least brought my heart rate above sitting on my ass all night, i must get back to work. too much to do, too little time.

oh, and brayson just farted. gross...