not enough time in the day

so i've been meaning to write a fun post for about a week now...and haven't had the time/energy to do so. again tonight, i was gonna write it, but i had to go christmas shopping for each member on my team. that's 41 people. i had about $5 per person to spend (give or take a few bucks) and it had to be at Walmart...and i despise Walmart, so naturally i saved shopping til the exact last moment possible. if i don't have them at work tomorrow we won't be able to get them wrapped in time for the Christmas...eh, em...HOLIDAY party on Friday. and for some ridiculous reason i decided to take personal time to do it. after work. potentially of course this means i could leave early either tomorrow, wednesday or thursday, but who are we kidding. i never leave early.

the sad thing was that Walmart, as expected, was disappointing, and had little to NO cheap men's items except for $3 cologne (gross). and as we have 11 women and 30 men, i had to come up with way more male gifts. they had completely run out of gloves/scarves/hats for the men, like when i asked where the section was (after having searched for it for about 10 minutes thinking im losing my mind because for the love there has to be a section around there somewhere for men's hats/gloves/scarves, the woman working looked at me and sighed...there is no section, we're all out...lovely). so, about 8 guys get the cheap cologne. i was able to find a few sweet baseball hats for a few younger/hip guys, i have some cartons of cookies, playing cards, dominos, and a box of skippo for a few family oriented fellows. lame??? me thinks yes.

needless to say, i hope it will brighten SOMEONE's day!!! and i'm now exhausted, going to kick my feet up, and probably fall asleep on the couch watching a stupid episode of CSI which is about the only mildly livable show on tv on Monday evenings after 9pm. but really i hate CSI.

i will admit, however, that i am getting excited for christmas.

i guess i pooped out a post anyways...pshshshs

life through a 2.7-inch LCD screen

So my luck has never been strong in regards to cameras. and though i know i've never spent large amounts of money on one, i will say i've invested a lot of money in multiple cameras and i feel that they should have lasted me much longer than they did. I purchased one a few years ago in Scotland and it died within the year. i then purchased a Sony which i thought should do me better and within a few months it started draining all of the battery out of the camera within a few hours. i purchased a battery charger and re-chargeable batteries, and this only seemed to help a small amount, i was recharging them after every use. slowly, the camera started not even turning on, or turning on only sometimes, and now no matter how new or charged the batteries are, it won't turn on at all. so, not only did the camera not work for more than a year, but i also spent tons of money on the battery charger and multiple batteries. now you may be thinking perhaps i don't take good care of them, but in all honesty, i think i do, i have had cases for them, and feel that because of each past disaster, i've been more careful with each new one. there's nothing more annoying than when you think you'll be able to take pics of an event and then realize that you'll either have no record for your memories, or you'll have to rely on other people to both take the pics and then eventually post them on facebook or send them by email. of course it's more often than not that the friends that take the pictures never send them, so i don't get to have the morsels of memorabilia i want from the events i've attended.

i have decided it's time to try again. and again, i realize i haven't spent hundreds of dollars to help guarantee the quality of the product, but i did take advantage of a 'black friday' sale at target (only because i actually needed conditioner and so was in the store--i wasn't one of the people waiting in line hours before the store opened, i swear!!) the 17 year old that i asked about the quality of the camera was so overwhelmed by the business of the store that he couldn't answer any of my questions in complete sentences and was looking around impatiently the whole time he was ringing up my purchase. ps, it wasn't that busy, and there seemed to be more flustered target employees than shoppers by the time i was in the store. even in spite of that, i feel that i've made a good purchase--when i opened the box there was a battery and charger with the camera. I proceeded to sigh with relief!!

anyways...here she is...

Hot peas

So it turns out...William James Adams, Jr. from Black Eyed Peas is really hot...how have i been missing him all this time???
he actually looks like the former detective from Law and Order...
in both cases...yum!!

ebay---who knew!!!

ok, so i'm a little behind the times, i realize, on many things. Ebay happens to be one of them. For some reason, even though i used to use Half.com (which is Ebay's 'cousin' i will say) for purchasing and selling text books, Ebay was always a bit of a mystery to me. i don't like the idea of bidding on something, having to wait and after having finally decided to spend my precious money on something, have the chance of someone overbidding me at the last minute. oh the disappointment.

now i realize that there are tricks and gimics to save me from this possible, impending disappointment, but who has time for that?? also, i always had a picture in my head of people always and only purchasing very expensive things.

to be fair, i have tried to purchase items before with much difficulty and headache. a year or so ago i tried to purchase a new copy of my favorite book by Leon Uris -Mila 18, and couldn't figure out how to pay the guy for it even though i won the book. the guy emailed me twice for payment and i ended up losing it because as hard as i tried i couldn't figure out how it worked. i swear to god there was no button for me to click to actually pay the man.

HOWEVER...i've recently made two purchases on Ebay with great success.
Success #1:
a month or so ago i bought a laptop 'cooler', which is a flat piece of equipment that sits under my laptop with three fans that cool it in order to help prevent it from overheating. it didn't cost hundreds of dollars like one might expect, i was able to find one for just under $13 and it works beautifully.

because of this i decided to try again.
Success #2:
my dipshit ex boyfriend gave me a money clip when we were first dating. mind you he got it for $1 at a thrift store, but he got me hooked, and i decided not to lose the practice of using one just because he is an asshole. it really is quite practical and prevents me from having to take a purse everywhere i go...another major bonus! recently the one he gave me broke, and i've been lamenting going back to using a wallet, even though i haven't been able to find another money clip anywhere. shockingly, they aren't sold in every corner store! i was, however, able to find one for $12 at a cute boutique but i figured if they are sold somewhere for $1, i could do better than $12. so, after going to multiple thrift stores, coming across my new favorite Vintage store on N Broadway and being unsuccessful in finding one anywhere, i decided to try ebay.

this is what i found
and for less than $6...not too shabby!! now, i haven't gotten it in the mail yet, and i did have trouble with paypal...but i got my confirmation for payment and that i should be expecting it to arrive within a few days...

ahh...modern technology helping make my life a little easier...who would've guessed, especially when used to purchase something classic....love it!

couch potato

the problem with getting sick, not only the fact that as i live alone i have to let my dog out no matter what, make my own food and wash my own dishes, is that there's nothing you want to do but lay down and do nothing...but time goes by slowly, and so tv/internet become a way to pass the time.

so, as i've had the flu for the last three/four days, i've been home, becoming what i've called a hulu-youtube-facebook junkie. i've spent much too much time on the internet and too much time watching tv. and with all of this time on tv, i've been watching So You Think You Can Dance, which honestly has impressed me. I've seen a few episodes this season, but seriously, the people competing are really solid, really talented people, and it's honestly a fun watch...even though i can't stand the host, the blond with an accent. i can't stand how she says 'judges'....SOO annoying!! i don't really watch American Idol, i stay clear away from Dancing with the Stars (Which is totally stupid), but i would recommend this show...it's pretty sweet!

now, if only i can get rid of this headache and sore throat so i can get off this couch and stop feeling so lazy...:)

a smelly situation

i was riding the bus to meet a friend last night and i'm pretty sure the girl next to me farted. she sort of squirmed weird for a minute and then everything smelled really bad for a few minutes. and not the same really bad smell you get when there's someone near you on the bus that hasn't showered in over a week and you feel you have to get off the bus 10 stops early just to get a breath. this was pungent and gross and sitting next to me...euwww...

wow...it's been a while.

so i have been on hiatus for longer than i thought i'd be...i've been through a lot, and haven't been very motivated to write, or inspired to share my thoughts. mostly because they've been depressing...a bad, difficult break up...and two grandparents have passed for which i've been very involved in...not in a killing sense, but in a support/assistance sense. ok, that still sounds bad. i was there for both my grandpa and grandma at the end of their lives, holding their hands, advocating with hospice/nursing home staff for the most possible comfort as they suffered and i was there during their last moments. it's heavy. it's hard. it's surreal to be placed so close to the reality of life and then death.

see, not very positive or uplifting. however, i wouldn't've traded it for anything, and i'm really so blessed to be there, both times. on a good note, 81 and 98 were their ages and they had overall good lives. the boyfriend on the other hand (make that EX boyfriend), well that's another story for another day...if you're lucky...

the inspiration for the post this saturday morning was actually due to the fact that i wanted to share that i picked up over 30 bottles/cans (and other various pieces of plastic garbage) from the pockets of grass on the street where i usually let brayson do his business...because the bottles and cans have been there for months and i finally couldn't take it anymore. i think the people walking by were amused or at least mildly worried about my sanity. either way, my street looks better than ever before...and i'll admit, i'm slightly motivated to look into volunteer opportunities to pick up other peoples' garbage and make this city look a little nicer...is that weird?? i've realized lately that i haven't done volunteer work in years anyways, and that's really sad. some of my friends tutor kids every week and i all this past week i just sat on my ass and worked when i get home from work. my life, sans boyfriend who encouraged me to take time for myself (one of the few good things about him), is really rather boring and too filled with work. maybe volunteering will be good for me...hmmm

at least for now, until another weekend of people drinking-so-much-they-feel-the-need-to-use-their-alcoholic-containers-to-litter-all-over-the-street, i get a break from preventing brayson from stepping on broken or potentially broken glass and can let him poop in peace...

time for a new post...

mostly because i can't take looking at that t-shirt every time i come to this site...

today is thursday but it's my friday cause i'm taking a 3 day weekend...woohoo!!

lata bitches...

here it is folks.

ok. so with great shame and humiliation, i give you the Back (THANK GOD) of the new shirt i have to wear at my restaurant. i know i said i'd quit if i had to wear this. i all but begged the owner to let us just wear black, to let us keep the small amount of dignity and professionalism we have left after working there, but alas, he has decided on this.



i have decided that for now, the plan is to swallow my pride, stay there until i take my test for my license (LCPC) and then call it quits. Having a deadline in mind helps me survive and keep my sanity.

reveling in free time..

the restaurant i work for on the weekends has been shut down for a few weekends, and i can't explain how much i LOVE having weekends off. since i started two years ago, i pretty much have only taken full weekends off when going out of town, but i've had three weekends off now, and i LOVE IT!!!

yesterday i slept in, went to the dog park, to target with a friend, out for dinner, and out to a movie. today, i slept in, made myself breakfast, took a bike ride to the lake, read part of a book, watched some tv, got some work done, made dinner...relaxed. it is truly a gift to be able to relax and have time off.

i really don't want to go back to work. i saw yesterday that the restaurant is back open again...so i'll have to work again soon, but it's been great while it lasted!!

what i hate most about being sick and living on my own

while it's nice to be really young and have mom or dad dote on you when you're not well, the most frustrating thing about being an adult and sick while NOT living with dad/mom or anyone else is that even in SUB ZERO weather, i STILL have to let my dog out three times a day. my nose hairs literally froze the second i walked outside this morning and because we have so much snow, we have to walk half a block to find a section of yard that B can use. i keep telling myself i need to train him to poop and pee in the toilet. it would save me so much hassle. however, until i actually put that crazy idea into action, i have to get all bundled up and hope i don't run into anyone while i look like death and feel like shit. this headache really seems to want to win this fight.

the other annoying thing is, to have all this time on my hands and not be able to do anything fun with it. i've had about 4 naps today, i tried to watch some "it's always sunny in philadelphia" (my new favorite incredibly crude and inappropriate show), i watched Swingers again and a few Jon Stewart Daily Show episodes, but the whole time i wanted to curl in a ball and have it all just end. the pain i mean.

the good thing is, i was able to have a really great weekend around the city both inside and outside, catching some cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory and an improv show at Improv Olympic. Not to mention a few drinks and a few laughs. i was even able to say 'lata bitches' a few times. it was great fun!!

must bundle myself up now and let B out for his evening business.

a little bit all over the place.

so, i'm fully aware that i've been neglectful of my precious blog as of late...or as of the last 6 or so months. i've had so much going on that i really don't usually know where to start. the last few days on the ride home from work i finally had some clear thoughts as to what to write in a post or two, but i find that, just like the last few months, once i get home, all intelligent/comprehensive/interesting thoughts have completely vanished from my mind, and i sit and look at a blank screen not knowing where to even start. as is the same today. however, i have trudged onward and have been able to spew a few nonsensical words together to create what you are currently reading now. the honesty that is required in order to be truly relateable and interesting is not always something i feel i want to give. and in all truth, blogging is not the only thing that suffers at the end of my long days. i often have lofty desires to read books, research interesting events that have transpired over the day, listen to music i've heard on interesting radio stations, and learn the general knowledge that i seem to have missed in my 27 years of life. sometimes i feel that i have something good to contribute and other times i feel that i've been in a bubble of self analysis that has somehow exempt me from experiencing everyday things which everyone else and their mother's seem to have lived and seem to know about. and on those days, it seems much easier to post videos copied from two years ago, or go on and on about my dog, who, let's face it, really is only interesting to me and a few loyal friends of mine.

a conversation i shared with a recently new coworker has stuck with me the last few days. the discussion involved the need to 'wine and dine' the wealthy into donating money, in order to prove our need for finances to continue to provide our services. i understand that the company i work for is a business. it's a human services business. we're, (i'm) in a business which involves providing 'help' services to people who need them, whether they believe they need them or not (in some cases). i am fully aware that we need money in order to provide these services and that the state, as has been proven recently by our idiot governor, is screwed up, and doesn't pay my company enough for the services we provide. therefore, we need the assistance of wealthy donors to stay afloat. but what is the best way to get these wealthy donors to give us money? is it by showing them a good time, getting in on their levels and showing them success stories of what our services can do? is it necessary to spend lots of money to 'wine and dine', to 'wow' them, to seduce them, to reel them in...as if the pure difficulties our members face, the mere reality of discrimination and negative stigma, and lack of resources/support/assistance don't prove to be enough to show the need for financial support?

perhaps my naivete in regards to running a business proves the problem here. and perhaps my issues more stem from the fact that my coworker, who is in the development field and not the social work field, frustrates me in regards to his lack of empathy for and clear lack of understanding of the financial stress those who are Not in the development department are under when lay offs have started and it's unclear who else may be next. Can't some of the money used to impress and inspire potential donors be used to keep the jobs of those who need them and continue the services that they provide? maybe not, but i have to say, i have really become frustrated with ignorant people who have power/influence or even the opportunities to make so much positive difference, and get impressed by the wealthy while losing sight of the original cause, if there was sight of the original cause to begin with.

which gets me to our current political disaster which includes Illinois' Governor Rod Blagojevich. As i understand, he's been under investigation for over 2 years in regards to 'pay to play' politics, and has allegedly tried to sell the seat in the Senate previously held by Barack Obama, not to mention, he's accused of trying to illegally manipulate the selling of the Cubs as a bargaining tool to get rid of certain Editors in the Chicago Tribune. One commenter on NPR this morning joked that even a Hollywood movie writer probably wouldn't've put these circumstances/events together as a believable story-line. Funny thing is, the former governor George Ryan, Blagojevich's predecessor, was also convicted of corruption and is serving a 6.5 yr sentence for it right now. Gotta love politics these days. or gotta love Illinois/Chicago politics. Turns out Blagojevich's proposed budget completely ignores the hundreds of millions that Illinois is already in the hole and proposes spending amounts for 2009 to be billions of dollars more than the 2008 fiscal year. I have no idea where this money is coming from (things like leasing the Illinois Lottery???? and borrowing money by selling general obligation pension bonds???) Meanwhile, things like financing social service agencies including the one i work for (the state owes my company alone over $8 million), as well as funding the CTA (trains and buses) in order for the working class to be able to have reliable, efficient transportation in this city...have been completely forgotten about. to be fair, the rest of the government hasn't done much to help, though senior citizens and people with disabilities can now ride free, but fair hikes for the rest of us go into effect some time in early 09 and the parking meters that he has decided to lease out to private companies, will surely increase in costs just to park downtown (though that was a Mayor Daley decision). overall, i feel like we keep paying more and more and getting less and less. i know this isn't isolated to just Illinois, or just Chicago, but i Do know that if nothing else, the respect, security and confidence we hold in our leaders is dwindling by the minute.

just a few things i've been thinking about. i'll save love and loss for another day...

oh, but just to come full circle...here's a delightful pic of my dog's crap. yes, it happened again, and we all know that if i had tried on purpose, i never would've been able to do the same thing twice.

my dog literally shit in my car today...

i hate him...

look what i found from a few years ago???

the quality is horrible as these are being filmed with a crappy camera....but it's still cool to see and remember!!


at the Morris house before they played a few new songs...the beginning of A Thousand Plateaus so it's actually still Spice Coyote





the Main reason we came to GR in February...to see Sigur Ros at Calvin!!!!


Ahh...i love you ladies:):)

every time.

i swear, every time i finally admit that i like a guy, it's over. every time.

i hate boys. they make me lose all confidence and reason. every time.

a review of events...

so...The week since the Election has been a busy and great one. Spending Election night in Chicago was truly something that i will never forget. the energy was unbelievable and i got to share it with some great friends at a fun bar. a few friends had headed out to Grant Park to see if it was worth hanging out at for the big night, but had a difficult time seeing anything but the top of the stage way down at the end of the park. Without tickets to get closer, it would have been difficult to even see TVs that would have given updates on the results, so we all decided to head over to a local bar for some Maker's Mark drinks (and classes that we took home) and a great time watching the country make history...a truly proud American moment!! along with some of the girlfriends, came a few friends from GR...
i think we had some fun...

that was Tuesday night...out til 3, work the next day, it was nuts.
Wednesday night
-hung out with DW and TJ, left to pic sis up from the airport and had a few more beers with the guys before we all called it a night.
Thursday
-Slept in, watched multiple episodes of the Daily show with Jon Stewart
-late breakfast/brunch/lunch at Nookies enjoying our cute (tho gay) waitor!
-i did some work, while we watched Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
-Dinner in OakPark with AM and K/R and kids at P.F. Chengs.
Friday
-more sleeping in, lounging
-more work at Caribou Coffee
-shopping downtown (H&M, Forever 21)
-dinner with AV at Halsted's and
-drinks at local bar--commenting on girl who shouldn't be wearing a certain shirt if she can't fit into it..
-another bar with a fantastic open-mic-night-singer/guitar player, meeting the locals both in side and outside the bar...
-late night pizza which included the near fistfight between a bunch of drunk guys...two of whom were kicked out before we were able to order...gotta love the effects of alcohol!!
Saturday
-oh yeah...went to bed at 3pm the night before and woke up at 5:15 to bring bro to the airport on his way to SABA to visit his girlfriend TH...the things we do for the people we love!!!
-went back home and slept in LATE...
-watched Greys'/Lipstick Jungle episodes online
-hungout and waited for AM to make it into town...and headed downtown for Chipotle dinner and a bus to take us to the United Center to see the Bulls play the Cavaliers...enjoyed watching LeBron James...yummy
-after the game we headed to Lakeview/DePaul area for some great wine and pumpkin/cheese cake...but not before getting pushed like cattle in the subway on the way out of the game...Sunday
-had to work...sis and AM went shopping after breakfast at my diner
-took a nap and headed out to Jewel to get some groceries for an easy dinner, which included roasting garlic, bacon, parsley, flour, noodles, cream...i think that was it...it made some seriously amazing mac and cheese...
-we had some difficulty finding a liquor store that was open after 6pm on Sunday, but were able to get some great wine...and with the wine, it was the greatest time i've had cooking in a Long time:):) one might even be Wisked Away with all the great skill used to reduce the cream by a 1/3. Eggs the next morning turned out to be egg-celent even...but AM isn't cheesy at all!!
-thanks to AM and another trip to Jewel, my apartment is fully equipped with a cork-screw, a 9x13 pan and a new cookie sheet
Monday
-made french toast out of dry italian bread for breakfast
-did some shopping in my neighborhood, found some Great sweaters, hats, art work, jeans, gloves all the good stuff
-had dinner at the Bar-Celona with $2 burgers and $2/$3 beers...yummy
-walked into another bar for drinks and got ID'd by a young guy who wasn't the bouncer...subsequently got laughed at by cute boys who thought it was funny...soon after we left..
-instead, we went to an Irish Pub with an authentically Irish bartender...a Great new find!
-tried to make cookies but didn't realize til after we started that we had used all of the eggs for breakfast
-fell asleep watching Guess Who? and headed to bed.
Tuesday
-slept in/watched Youtube videos
-bought boots. found better boots at 2nd store. returned original boots.
-lunch at great restaurant where we went over all of the events of the week and made list
-took sis to airport to say goodbye for another long time. had great conversations on the way there and before she went through security
she's such a hottie!!
i believe that i'll be in hibernation until thanksgiving!!...but it was all totally worth every minute!!

a day off..

so i took the day off today. i don't get any time around Christmas/New Years, so i've been taking random days here and there to give myself 'vacation'. this weekend was kinda crazy so to have a few extra hours of relaxing is just what i needed. somehow things continue to surprise me, things get complicated, and fun and strange all at the same time. no complaints...just time needed for reflection and decisions on where to go from here. relationships/religion/morality/ethics/the overall meaning of life...it all gets bundled up together. vague enough?? haha...i thought so:)

a few weeks ago i was talking to a friend about the Chicago International Film festival that was going on that the time. i was mentioning a few of the movies i went to last year and the ones i went to this year. Last year i saw 3 films, one was a documentary of an Iraqi film student during the war, another was Lars and the Real girl..about the struggles of dealing with feelings that often overwhelm, and another movie was in subtitles about the Israeli war in the 80s. this year i saw Boy in the Stripped pajamas, a film about a German boy during WWII, and another film was about a woman in Sweden who struggled in a marriage with an alcoholic trying to support her 5 children. this friend of mine stated the obvious that all of the films i mentioned were really dark and heavy, not the feel good comedy fun type. it's true. they are kind of intense, and i guess i have the tendency to be pretty intense as well...not that i don't like having fun...a few pics below will show i'm up for a good time...but it's tru, i enjoy movies/discussions that are related to real life experiences and real life is intense at times. i seem to stay with my own thoughts about life that are pretty intense as well...

but in an attempt to Not be so intense...

yes, i went and got a spray tan...just for fun. a friend of mine works at a tanning salon and kept bugging me to come in and take advantage of any deal he could give me. as i don't like laying a frying in a tanning bed, i figured i'd give the spray tan a shot. now, he did it personally, it wasn't a machine like on Friends when Ross keeps getting sprayed on the same side...it was done pretty well, except my hands were pretty dark and blotchy...fun for the costume though. everyone i work with got a huge kick out of it!!! something i tried but won't do again probably! the halloween party was a blast though...it's so easy to talk to people...the costumes are great conversation starters!!

Cats or Dogs

i've always considered myself a dog person...but i have to say i'm enjoying cats lately a lot more than i used to...mostly the ones that act more like dogs, but...still, they're adorable. and they can sit on your lap and purr and be all soft...
love it!!

no worries, my B-minator is still the only pet for me:)

life is never boring for too long...

i was in a small car accident last night. my poor car is a mess again. it was raining, it was dark and i had just stopped at a stop sign about 4 blocks from my apartment. i looked in my rear-view mirror and realized the SUV behind me was coming way too quickly and was way too close. he rear ended my car, and ruined my back bumper. i can barely open or close my trunk. so i'm at it again with the insurance and the estimates and the planning on getting a rental or taking the el for a few days. the nice thing is i'm on the better side of the insurance claim this time, as it wasn't my fault at all. problem is, the whiplash was kind of bad and i'm sore everywhere from my head down my neck/shoulders/upper back. i went to the Dr today to make sure i got checked out and she said it may get worse before it gets better. i'm currently laying on my couch with a heating pad, which is a god-send. Dr gave me a script for physical therapy if things get worse, though i'm Really hoping this is only an extra precaution. problem is, i was so flustered/pissed off/in shock, that i only got the guy's business card. and when i called him today for more info, i had to leave a message. i'm hoping he's legit and will call me back. i'm sad for my car, and the hassle this will be, but really, i'd like things to just be quiet for a while. i have a lot going on this month, and car trouble was Not on my list of things to have to deal with. that's life i guess.

also i've been meaning to dedicate a blog to each of these events because they were both really soo good. the first is really one of my favorite nights ever! i finally got to see Stars live and it was better than i was even expecting it to be. even though bands rarely play the songs you love exactly how you love them, it was truly amazing. AV and JS came all the way to Chicago from GR to join myself, DW and RR for the show. Rachael Yamagata was the second concert i've been wanting to go to for years. she was also great live and she sang one of her new songs Elephant acappella and you could literally hear a pin drop. i got goose bumps.

Waiting for the show to start...JS couldn't look any less excited...but the rest of us knew better!!
So great to share this concert with my bro...who definitely takes all credit for introducing me to this fabulous band!!
what's so funny AV??
and they're on...OMG they're amazing!!!


and some Rachael Yamagata...
oh, and some pics from a goodbye party for HK...oh how we will miss him...but wish him all the best!!

a few words...