generated by





i'm sittin here, with bro and tamar, just hangin out to wait to go down town for some good beer and pool. good conversation and laughing is always fun. nice and cozy...yummm.

2 days til we leave for scotland. sheonaid is still in process to get her paper work squared away but i'm not giving up until i'm on the plane, and it leaves without her :(

more on the trip is sure to come. but for now, i'm back to the cozy family room.



you never know

so...tonight i said i would stay an extra 4 hours b/c the girl who works the midnight shift called off. so i'm here til 3am...which is just over 40 minutes away. i worked with one woman my whole shift, but she was to leave at 12:30am. luckily she was nice enough to help me with my first case 'alone' was a patient being rushed in for cardiac arrest. and not to give too much info...the man was DOA. i had to register him, with the wife giving me info..while she's freaking out b/c she just wants to know if he is gonna make it. he's dead. she had a baby no older than 3 months and it's christmas. it just makes me so sick.

working here really makes me think about life and death...of driving safely and being careful. even though this wasn't a auto accident, most of the traumas we get are auto related. you never know. these people come in here having gotten up early in the morning, thinking that this was gonna be another day, just like all the others. one couple was quietly eating dinner at Bob Evans and a car drove through the restaurant and practically ran them over. freak accident, yes, but it still happened, and to the ER they come, their whole worlds upside down.

for me being a 'quick' makes me think. mostly it makes me remember extra hard to put my seatbelt on, and be sure to be an alert driver. but it's all sobering and somber.

beyond that. it's almost 3am, and i'm not very coherent anymore. i hope my replacement walks through the door soon so i can go home and let my pooch's been a long day for him too!!


a few RANDOM thoughts

men can be both terribly annoying and incredibly sweet...let's just say i'm getting doses of both tonight...and hopefully i'll end with more of the sweet...the annoying boy finally went home...thank goodness. let's just say "CLUELESS and ANNOYING". and sweet boy (aka Hot EMT) has been super fun and flirty...maybe i will end up asking him out before the end of the week...he's quitting too so it's either now or never!! lol...what a hottie!!

other than that, i'm not feeling especially inspired with anything to write about...except to gloat about my up and coming travels SCOTLAND. holy shit!!! haha. and now...there's an 80% chance sheonaid will be coming too, like planned. so that's awesome! yes...9 days, count em...NINE days til i leave!! woo hoo. and oh, of course only 3 til i get to go home and enjoy christmas with sheonaid, aaron, dad and oma (sans 18 hours of work and 5.5 hrs of driving and i'll be homefree...literally! and christmas presents are so fun. i can't wait to give em. but i can't give any clues cause the one person i have for presents might be reading this...(sheonaid). she's the lucky one that i got in 'picking names'. and after a shmoz of a gift i bought in NYC...sorry, such a waste of a good present buying opportunity...i've decided on something else that i hope will tickle her fancy. otherwise it's back to the drawing board and we'll have to settle for a scottish gift...which i suppose wouldn't be too bad!! you'll just have to wait and see girl!! haha

back to fun men:

why i like hot EMTs:
1. they wear a uniform
2. they care about saving people
3. they are able to save me if needed
4. even though their work is hard, it's interesting
5. they allow for fun flirting and nice eye candy
6. oh wait..he's hot:):)'s late and i wanna go home. too many kids in the ER tonight :( poor little guys.



$20 is $20

"A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE"."


i think my brain is fried

i have nothing to say today. i feel like all i do lately is work and work some more. last night got to fit makin cupcakes in the schedule for the evening. i should have napped. but i made chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with chocolate and vanilla frosting and of course...some sprinkles (yes i love sprinkles). i did not make two batches of cupcakes for myself however...for you nutrition and health nuts out there. i actually made them for my students who are in the midst of final exams. i figured a fun snack to eat would help brighten their day...perhaps!!

for those who have read this blog or have talked to me recently...yes i'm still talking about not having heat. i went home from work yesterday to meet with my landlord and some guy to get it fixed (mostly to keep brayson out of their way). i walked home to have to call my landlord (again...cause he never does) to find out why he wasn't there. he said they weren't coming and i'd have to wait another day. boo my landlord., between working at school and the hospital, i ran home to check out what the plan was for today. landlord? check. guy-to-fix-furnace? NO check. so, i left for work leaving my landlord to fend of my pooch and deal with fixing my furnace. and while i know people have it worse, and, believe it or not, i've tried not to's too cold in my house. this morning it was 54 degrees again...brbrbrbrrrrrr. really...if i'm under blankets it's fine, but if i'm changing or getting into the shower...NO GOOD. so, my hope is that the guy-to-fix-furnace did show up and i actually have heat in my house again. i'm not holding my breath!!

other than that...all i want is my bed:)


insert title here

what blows my hair back (other than a hair dryer):
-having only 12 days til i get to go home and hang with my bro, sis and dad (it's been waaayy too long aaron and sheonaid!!)
-having only 18 days left til i leave with my sis for SCOTLAND to visit mom
-dancing to 70/80's music with drunk co-workers over the age of 40 at a christmas party...who knew they had it in 'em. they're funny haha.
-IMing with friends at night, even having spent the whole day with them (u know who u r!)
-having people answer the phone knowing my mood just by me saying hello
-playing with my pooch (brayson) in the snow--he seriously is THE cutest thing ever
-finding out i have admirers ;);)
-good discussions that make me think
-mark ruffalo...yumyum
-not having homework to do for a whole month!!
-a little bit of alcohol after a LOONNGG week ;);)
-new friendships with cool people
-making plans to visit my bro in feb. for a kickass show--bring on the roadtrip ladies
-being cozy and warm under my covers in bed
-fun security guards that make time at work go faster
-phone calls with friends i haven't seen in a long time
-when listening to music becomes a spiritual experience and makes me feel the presence of my Creator
-Manhattan, staten island ferry, looking at diamonds in Tiffany's, trying on 'sarah jessica parker' dresses in Bloomingdales, riding the subway, being serenaded by a walk-in band with christmas carols in a small italian restaurant in Little Italy, Time Square and Rockefeller center at night, figuring out our way around the city, making it home safely!!
-finding comments to read on my blogsites (no, this is not a passive/aggressive way to get people to comment to my blogs, it's totally true..well, maybe a little, lol)

what makes my hair flat (other than genetics):
-my house under 60 degrees
-thinking i'm gettin off work at 11:30pm but staying til 6am
-not sleeping in
-guys who think that saying yes once means i'm totally into them
-not being able to play tennis til april/may
-how christmas isn't really christmas anymore
-when people tell me to smile--don't tell me when to be happy damn it:P

more positives than negatives...good. i'm usually a glass-half-full type of gal. if it's ever the otherway around, we'll have a problem :)


three to go...WAHOOOO!!!

so...i have officially completed three of my four semesters of my graduate program. HOLY SHIT!!!haha. a few more months and they're gonna unleash me into the working world...rather a scary thought if you'd ask me! i still have to get an internship placement for next semester though..which i should've had done mid semester..but oh well...something will work out (i'm sure).

a cool ending: i had two final exams this semester. one of which consisted of writing a group therapy plan for a specific scenario given in class. i'm pretty sure i did fine on that one. the second was to be much more stressful...prepared for by filling out a huge 'study-guide' for an unknown reason. was it just so we could learn the material, was it to use during the test? we had no idea. however, we went to class, and the prof asked what we were expecting for the test. outspoken friend of mine...stated that he was hoping that if we filled out the study guide we wouldn't have to take the test. of course we all chuckled b/c we know that things like that don't happen. our prof proceeded to hand out the test which looked distinctly similar to the study guide...and she answered our puzzled looks with "if you did the study guide, put your name on it and pass it're done" all of us, especially the one student who didn't do the study guide, questioned her a few times to be sure of what she said and yes...that was it. and that was good too..cause i was seriously nervous about the final. tons of detailed info...not my kind of test. worries...perhaps i'll get an A afterall...:)

and here i am back at work...i tell ya it never stops. but that's good cause i need the money for things like SCOTLAND...and Sigur Ros...yumm yumm. work is S.L.O.W.(knock on wood), which is actually nice. i haven't worked in the ED since i started in it's been a nice way to get back into it. i work tom. and sunday morning in admissions so i'll be back to normal!! ahh, the good ol' well-earned dollar!!

for everyone i know who is sick (and there are too many right now) i wish you the best and a quick and painless recovery. for those of you still finishing finals (and i know a few) best of luck and clear-thinking enlightenment. for those of you who swore off school many hears ago (you know who you are) nice work!!! soon i will be with you!!

my furnace won't be fixed til after monday :( boooo cold nose, fingers and toes ;)



well...i find myself in somewhat of an unusual funk this afternoon. kinda good and kinda not...but so it goes. i think i'm tryin to resist certain feelings and yet not wanting to resist at the same time. does that make any sense? is pure contentment possible on this earth? is it in our nature to always feel like there should be more in life or can we truly be just happy with the way things are? i have sooo much to be thankful for...why can't that just be enough?

i'm also stalling from studying for a final tomorrow at 9am. i have much work to do for it...and it's a bit overwhelming. however, i think i'll get to chipping away at it...better now than 2am! thanks in advance to hallie for bein my study partner and such a good're the best!!

-discontented in WV



Who's The Stupid One?

"You let me mislead Congress, the news media, and the people into an illegal and unecessary war, set up our soldiers to be killed while under-equipping them and cutting their GI benefits, ignore real terrorism, rub elbows with corporate donors and corporate crooks, allow Americans to torture, authorize vilolations of the 1st, 4th, and fifth amendments, ruin all of our international agreements and alliances, encourage the smearing of those who express contrary opinions, threaten to start new wars, place incompetent lackeys into critical positions, allowed my staff to commit treason and then not fire anyone involved (as I promised to do), give billions to to the wealthiest.

Meanwhile, so many Americans live in poverty and the number is growing, our borders are insecure, we have a health care crisis in which fewer and fewer people can afford to get sick,

And you call ME stupid ?!?!"
--taken from Entropy Pile ""