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another trip over...boooo

so i spent a long weekend in colorado springs with my sis...we did so many great and fun things, and i got to meet so many of her friends as well as a few of my was a treat. too bad colorado and illinois are so far apart.... here are some pics to share the fun...(i'm not in a type-y mood)

(Ingrid Michaelson)
(Matt Nathanson)

(Guitarist from Mele who had killer Band-Guy hair)

oh the fun:)


i hate to go here but...

i hate to say it, and i might be a little premature...but i think the Rockies are going to get their asses kicked...the Red Sox are on a winning streak and i think they're going to do some serious damage. i hope not, but i think it's true...a couple more things...this weekend i got to go to grand rapids (i know i should probably just move there cause i go all the time) and i got to hang out with my friends AM and DC, then head to my brother's concert at Rocky's, where his band A Thousand Plateaus played some oldies and some new music that hadn't been played in public yet. not to be corny but i was oh, so proud!!!
then had a great lunch with AV the next morning, got to see TH for about 20 minutes and had dinner with AM, DC and LC before i came back to chicago...all of this in less than 24 hrs. sleep? you ask??? hahahhahahaha

however, driving back into the chicago was cool...this is why i love this was a big night for boxing...and a couple of weeks ago, for the cubs...gotta love the spirit...

maybe this is why i get myself into car accidents...cause i'm obviously paying so much attention to the road....:)


time flies... it wednesday tomorrow already???

ps. my dog has learned that he can knock over the big bag of dog food off of the garbage can...the same big bag of dog food that until how has prevented him from getting into the garbage can and going through everything, spewing it all over the apartment. this is bad. call me weird, but i don't wanna put my garbage under the sink because ever since i moved in it's been damp, and i try not to think of bugs under there, even though the leak hasn't been an issue in months. it's creapy and i ignore it whenever possible...but, if brayson goes through my garbage it has to go under the sink...oh well. i'll buck it up and be like every other good dutch person that i know...pthth...damn dog.



this is what happens.
the reflection of light on the car makes it hard to tell what's been screwed up in my pics, but to be sures, it's the ENTIRE length of my car...even the handle of my driver side door is half way gone...

there are no words to describe how angry i am at myself. how overwhelmed i am with expenses to get this fixed, and how freaking pissed off i am at myself. oh i said that already. you know, this happened to me about 4 months ago, same road, same damn median, and i got really lucky cause the only damage was what you can see in the blue box in the first picture. it cost me $493 to fix, plus four days of renting a car. my deductible is a grand...mostly cause i NEVER got into an accident nearly this large before, EVER, and i figured i'd never use it anyways. i had to pay everything last time out of pocket, and this time...the damage is 300 fold, so i can only imagine my deductible will be a small portion of the cost. i might as well take a months salary in dollar bills and throw them into Lake Michigan. suck a freakin waste of hard earned money. and you know, i thought that i was starting to get back on track of keeping work off my mind and focusing on what was a hand. i took a personal day last week, i had a good work evaluation where my superiors gave me positive feedback and motivation to relax and take one day at a time and not be so damn stressed out.

what happened was, i had to drive north on lake shore drive to pick up a projector for a big meeting we were having this afternoon. so, i drove there, picked up the machine and was back on my way to work when it happened. i was remembering how the same road, the same travel north had resulted in the last accident and how lucky i had been that only a small portion of the car was wrecked and that, ultimately, i didn't die, or hurt anyone else, or anything. i lamented the financial setback but was confident that i was back on track and working toward paying off my loans again. and within 30 minutes, worse damage had been done, and still, though i'm glad i'm not dead or that no one else was hurt, i came back to the office and scared everyone as i blurted out in between frustrated and angry sobs that, no, i was not dying or that the world was not ending, but in fact i had merely ruined the entire side of my precious car. i was also a little traumatized at the fact that i had been going over 60 mph and could have been seriously hurt.

i guess my somewhat normalizing social life is to be put on hold once again while i work more hours to pay for the craziness that i have found myself in again. and as my overanalyzing mind never stops, i've been thinking all afternoon about why this happened. is it self-sabatoge? is it really just too much stress or is it just one of those things that just happens and i should shut up and be glad that it's not worse than it is?

who knows...

ps. donations are now being accepted, and of course, are greatly appreciated...::winks::


another day, another film

ok, so saturday night i saw another film from the Chicago Film Festival. it's called Operation Filmmaker, and it was a documentary of sourts about an Iraqi that was seen on MTV by some Hollywood filmmakers. they decided to give him a shot at working on a film in Prague and try to help him out. It's a very interesting look see a guy who was at one time in film school in Baghdad, hanging out with his friends and partying...who has a great opportunity to have some big changes in his life of struggle and pain who reacts and behaves differently than what you expect and yet at the same time, watching someone who probably acts like so many college kids over here in the Americas...i couldn't find a trailer for the film and the only piece on Youtube was about 8 minutes of segments that i didn't feel did the film justice, so you'll have to see the whole thing i guess!!

i was gonna go to a few short films tonight, but decided against it. i'll be going to see one more film tomorrow before it's all over, and i'll have to wait til next year again! what i did get to see though, has been great...

on a completely different note, two weekends ago, i got a random call from a friend of mine from grad school who said he was in Indiana and suggested i come see his team play a little soccer against Notre Dame. he's new to this blog, so i figured i'd give him a warm welcome and post his that mean??? i think he can take


a day of rest

so, today, i took a day off of work. i've been feeling a little too stressed and figured i'd use a personal day so that i don't have a melt down. well not really, but kind of. today was perfect, except that i still got calls and texts from staff. i'm still working on that. anyways, i re-arranged my apartment, bought plates from pier 1 on clearance and a pillow for $25. i still can't believe i spent that much on a couch accesory, but it helps the general decor and feel of the room, really it does!! it'll be even better when i receive the couch cover i ordered tonight, which is Long overdue, so once it get it in the mail, a picture will of course be posted soon after. brayson is frustrated b/c he likes to sit between the side of the couch and the wall, and with the change of furniture, he only has room to walk in to the space, but not to turn around to sit down. it's funny to see him try though. i also got rid of a ton of stuff and even though i'm not in love with the new furniture arrangement, it was a much needed change. I'm in one of those restless, frustrated moods, and something needs to be different. changing furniture sometimes helps change perspective, even if it's just the view from the couch.

do i have to go back to work tomorrow??


Lars and the Real Girl

see it. it's good.


check out her ride... has changed SOO much since i was a kid...


so here it is

a pic of me with my new, new hair, after i got it redone again...i like it better, it's less red....

not sure that this pic makes it look less red, but it is...whatya gonna do...


burn baby burn

ok, so today was a crazy good day. and nothing incredibly amazing happened, but it was a great day. tuesdays are the days when i get to, as team leader, stay in the office instead of go on visits to do paper work. even though we have two major meetings, the rest of the day should be mine. some tuesdays prove to be productive, while others, no matter how much i try to get stuff done, i feel like i don't get a chance to sit down and do anything long enough to complete a single project or task. today, however, was NOT one of those, my friends, it was one of the super productive, get rid of all the piles on my desk, get information i've been after for weeks, send faxes that i keep getting emails about, update info and mail applications. i delegated tasks to other team members, advocated for much needed changes and everyone liked the brownies i made and brought in this morning. and even with all of this work done, i have about three hours of notes to write tonight so that i'm not a whole 7 days behind on my billing. i felt so good today when i came home, i took brayson on a 45 minute run. not a walk, no not a slow, around One block walk, a FORTY FIVE MINUTE RUN. i tell ya, my Nano, Li'l Guy, makes running a freakin Breeze...and even when i felt every loose and flabby part of my boddy bounce with each step, and my legs burned and seemed to yell, WHat the hell are you doing to me, i kept going until i thought i just might fall over. and the great thing about pushing yourself hard is the feeling of relief and accomplishment when you're done that make it all worth it. brayson seemed to like it that's always a bonus.

anyways, with tomorrow comes visits and busy-ness and more paperwork and notes, but after last week which made me contemplate quiting the job all together...(not really, but pretty damn close)...this was just what i needed. except for the fact that i can barely get up cause my legs hurt...i guess that's what i get!!!