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bitter sweet? or more bitter because of the sweet?

so. why does it seem that whenever you're going to leave something you don't much enjoy, it seems to get better? in my multiple moves throughout my lifetime, this strange phenomenon never seems to amaze and frustrate me. is it perhaps because i've been living with negative 'glasses', as they say, and i finally realize what good is there when it's almost gone? is it that i figure, what the heck, i'm going to leave anyways, let's do stuff that i haven't been able/willing to do before, and then i realize that i should've been doing these things all along because they're great? or do good things just happen before i go? i don't know. but i'm both glad and frustrated by what continues to happen, because just when i feel that i'm ready to leave somewhere, glad to leave somewhere, it seems that something great happens and i'm sad to have it all end. and while it's wonderful that the good thing happens, the fact that pain must be experienced at leaving is never easy to deal with.

i have been preaching excitement at leaving Morgantown for months...and especially after spending a few days in chicago, getting excited about moving has been a it's peak. and plus, i've moved so many times, it's nothing i haven't gone through before, right?

i'm realizing, again, that it's not that easy.

this weekend recently became the last weekend that my good friends are here in town due to getting a job..YAY...which starts earlier than expected...BOO. what made things nice was that there was a wedding that i was graciously invited to, which allowed for everyone to get together for one celebration before they leave. some from out of town, and some from here in motown. however, now that that wedding is over, the weekend closes and people are either headed back to their respective homes or packing to leave the state tomorrow. SADNESS.

the sweet of this weekend,
1) spending time with some wonderful people, a few i've known for a while, and a few i've met recently but have welcomed me as if i've known them for a while. what rich blessings.
2) getting a whole day off for which to enjoy people's company.
3) a co-worker this afternoon, who, upon my arrival for my shift, noticed my gloomy mood and offered to stay a few extra hours so that i could spend a bit more time with my friends:)
4) getting to help pack boxes and truck.

it's hard to be excited about moving on with your life when you have to say good bye to someone, something that is wonderful and makes you smile...especially when these people who make you smile have impacted your life and you don't know how you ever lived without them...

ok, i have to stop, i'm making myself cry. right now, bitter wins.


it smells strangely like chemicals

as i sit here in my apartment, chomping on Sarris Candies Milk Chocolate Covered Pretzel Rods, listening to the best mix ever made and feeling a slight buzz from the freshly painted front porch, i find myself reflecting over the events of the last 10 days.

in the last 10 days, i graduated with my master's degree, drove to grand rapids, then to chicago with my mom, where i proceeded to learn the city, job search and see the apartment i hope to be living in in less than three months. I returned to grand rapids, had dinner with three of my gal pals in Spring Lake, spent time with my grandparents (grandma fixed my jeans), lost my phone, then found it, saw my former boss at Calvin, welcomed my sister from Colorado, ate dinner with her and her friends, went downtown with some of my other friends and went to see my bro and his roommate play at Rocky's. drank a little too much and slept about 4 solid hours that night due to my friend's dog pedro climbing all over me, had breakfast with my fam, and dinner with grandparents, saw my bro's senior art exhibit at Calvin, went dancing with my sis at Margaritaville, while trying to stay clear of nasty drunk male dancers and still enjoying ourselves. bought an $800 armoir for $99 at the Salvation Army for my new apartment, helped bro pack up his house to move, go to his graduation, and wipe tears away at the fact that my little bro is graduating college (or was it b/c i feel like it's been ages since i graduated from Calvin...i'm getting old!!). went to buy food for party, ate food at party and enjoyed musical entertainment from none-other than A Thousand Plateaus while their friends cried at the end of a great year and sang along at the top of their lungs. i only know a few words. filled a trailer with all bro's big furniture while it rained, drank a little too much, and got to sleep in bro's new apartment. church sunday AM, a quick lunch and craziness at the airport after realizing that sis's luggage was in the car that didn't come to the airport...yes, due to MY stupidity...after a frantic drive by bro and mom to retreive said luggage and realizing that they wouldn't get the luggage back to the airport in time, she had to change her flight (blond moment? i think so). got to spend a few extra hours with sis before she left, after which mom and i left to go to rochester. took care of needed doctor's appointments under dad's insurance, mowed grass and cleaned the patio, got my car windshield replaced, and drove back to Motown to work the 10-6:30 shift in Admissions this morning. phew...that's a lot of craziness.

being back in motown, i found my dog to be in one piece, though thinner for not having eaten the first 4 days of me having left him...and i have just a few precious days left with two dear friends of mine who will be deserting this town for NY on sad Monday morning. however, i have work hours coming out of my ears, so without too much else to do...i'll be making money which is a God-sent blessing:)

over all, an amazing time, a much needed break, wonderful time spent with so many people i love. so for those of you reading..thanks so much:)

ps. my Sarris Candies Milk Chocolate Covered Pretzel Rods were gone at the end of the second sentence...yum yum.


look out chicago here i come

ok, so i don't have a job yet, but i'm totally going. no matter what.


i'm headed to find a job

wish me luck!!!



so...this is a story of the journey of trying to get my computer fixed.

over all, i have deep love for my computer, Aiden (named after the hottie on Sex and the City). and besides the hard-drive crashing after only owning it three weeks, it has given me nothing but happy times--it has provided me with internet, and has stored great music and fun photos. i've become a frequent USB drive user, and am an expert at importing pictures from my nifty little camera that i bought in scotland earlier this year. (of obvious note: it's increased my 'cool' factor considerably).

Sadly, Aiden hasn't been feeling well lately, due to a recent accident involving my dog Brayson. Brayson, who was running around my livingroom, consequently got stuck in the power chord and knocked said laptop onto the cheaply carpeted floor. with not so much cushioning, the injury Aiden sustained failed to subside after turning the computer off and then on again--with high hopes that all would be fixed. since that near-fatal fall, Aiden hasn't been the same. he hasn't been able to recognize cd's/dvd's for weeks, and i fear that if action isn't taken soon, the damage will be irreversible.

So, earlier this week, i finally called Dell to figure out how to fix poor Aiden. i was on the phone with 'the Dell guy' for over 45 min...and he finished by telling me he's going to send me a CD to reinstall some program. computer d.o.e.s.n.'.t. r.e.c.o.g.n.i.z.e CD's. but who am i to argue...i know nothing of how to save my injured friend. Promptly 2 business days later, i received the supposed antidote in the mail...and instead of waiting for 'the Dell guy' to call me back to help me install the program, i decide to take a more proactive approach and call Dell back myself, this time speaking with 'the Dell girl' instead. this 'Dell girl' had me run many of the same tests as well as few new ones only to conclude that my computer d.o.e.s.n.'.t. r.e.c.o.g.n.i.z.e C.D/D.V.D.'.s. no shit i know why it's so important to get a second opinion:) her solution to this problem is not that software needs to be reinstalled, but that my CD drive is gone caput, and she stated that she will promptly be sending me a new one in the mail within 2/3 business days. "Is there anything else i can help you with today?" she finishes. No, mam, that is all.

and so, i still wait in eagerness for the remedy to fix my poor Aiden. mostly i just wanted to watch some movies while i was bored at work today...and am pissed that i have to wait. by the time i get the new disc drive...if that's the real problem...i will be soon leaving town, or be gone already, and won't have such urgency to fix the of Aiden put aside of course.

Soon, Aiden, soon, all will be back to normal. Soon...

here's a picture story of my phone call with 'the Dell girl'... (pics were taken while i was on hold)

today is a good day, i'm going to call Dell and fix Aiden

maybe they'll really be able to help me...maybe...i have hope, yay:):) but...

uh oh, this is starting to sound like the last time i called.

this isn't going to plan :(

is Anyone there who can help me????

i'm V.E.R.Y. irritated....stupid Dell

but mostly i'm just Aiden.

(see what happens when i'm bored at work and have no DVD's to watch)


does this make anyone else excited?

click on picture to make bigger...for full effect:)

nuff said


did i miss something?

so why is it that on the days when you have NO time, everything seems to take FOREVER??? yesterday i had 30 min to get from one job to the next, with a quick stop to let my pooch pee. so i go to pay the parking garage fee and the damn machine won't take the little ticket it gives you when you enter the garage. it kept spitting it out stating that it was either put in backwards, or bent. however, neither were true. so i hit the 'help' button to speak with a woman who states that help is on the time ticks on, wasting very precious time. finally two guys come strolling down the ramp to help me, because it's incredibly difficult for one guy to figure out that the machine is screwed up and he'll just have to use his key to make the bar holding me in the garage go up and let me out. slowly they get to me, and try again what i had tried 20 times already only to find the same result: the machine spit my ticket out again. Then there's the issue of me having to pay for the damn ticket, and of course the guys can't break a $10. finally the other guy found a five and 4 quarters to give me as change...guaranteed that they kept my $4 of course. i get into my car, and wait another 3 min for the second guy to figure out which key will bring the bar up, and fnally, with a small screach, i hit the road and get on my way. by this time i have 13 min left to get home and back out to my next post of employment, knowing the chance to grab some fast food for dinner is obviously out of the question, since my necessary travel time will already take longer than the short time now available.

and to top it all off, did i miss that it was "National Drive-20-Miles-Per-Hour-Day-Regardless-of-What-the-Speed-Limit-Actually-is"? cause Everyone seemed to stay w/in that 18/22 mph range...which in all honesty really pissed me off. and somehow no matter how i yelled rude and mean, and somewhat profane statements at them, or how i was practically driving in their trunk, they didn't speed up at all. INEXPLICABLY ANNOYING.

there really should be some kind of express lane that is built above all other traffic that allows people who are in a hurry, or who merely want to drive the speed limit, to get where they are going in a reasonable amount of time. DAMN!!