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bitter sweet? or more bitter because of the sweet?

so. why does it seem that whenever you're going to leave something you don't much enjoy, it seems to get better? in my multiple moves throughout my lifetime, this strange phenomenon never seems to amaze and frustrate me. is it perhaps because i've been living with negative 'glasses', as they say, and i finally realize what good is there when it's almost gone? is it that i figure, what the heck, i'm going to leave anyways, let's do stuff that i haven't been able/willing to do before, and then i realize that i should've been doing these things all along because they're great? or do good things just happen before i go? i don't know. but i'm both glad and frustrated by what continues to happen, because just when i feel that i'm ready to leave somewhere, glad to leave somewhere, it seems that something great happens and i'm sad to have it all end. and while it's wonderful that the good thing happens, the fact that pain must be experienced at leaving is never easy to deal with.

i have been preaching excitement at leaving Morgantown for months...and especially after spending a few days in chicago, getting excited about moving has been a it's peak. and plus, i've moved so many times, it's nothing i haven't gone through before, right?

i'm realizing, again, that it's not that easy.

this weekend recently became the last weekend that my good friends are here in town due to getting a job..YAY...which starts earlier than expected...BOO. what made things nice was that there was a wedding that i was graciously invited to, which allowed for everyone to get together for one celebration before they leave. some from out of town, and some from here in motown. however, now that that wedding is over, the weekend closes and people are either headed back to their respective homes or packing to leave the state tomorrow. SADNESS.

the sweet of this weekend,
1) spending time with some wonderful people, a few i've known for a while, and a few i've met recently but have welcomed me as if i've known them for a while. what rich blessings.
2) getting a whole day off for which to enjoy people's company.
3) a co-worker this afternoon, who, upon my arrival for my shift, noticed my gloomy mood and offered to stay a few extra hours so that i could spend a bit more time with my friends:)
4) getting to help pack boxes and truck.

it's hard to be excited about moving on with your life when you have to say good bye to someone, something that is wonderful and makes you smile...especially when these people who make you smile have impacted your life and you don't know how you ever lived without them...

ok, i have to stop, i'm making myself cry. right now, bitter wins.


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