a..w..k..w..a..r..d..

-wow
-yeah
-really? i never knew that..
-yep, i know it's crazy, right?
-right, wow
- i know
-wow
-cool,
-i never would have thought it
-i know, i thought the same thing
-wow, that's so cool
-i know...
-...
-...cool
-yep
-i've always wanted to go there
-yeah me too
-we should totally go sometime
-yeah, that sounds great
-yea it does, we should go..
-ok, cool
-cool
-...
-...

this is why meeting people is difficult, who wants to do that conversation over and over again?

in all actuality, the person i had that conversation with is very nice and we're probably going to chicago's Movie in the Park tomorrow night...i've wanted to go but haven't yet. hopefully it will be fun. and in truth, volley ball has been a great way to meet nice people. i'm starting to feel like i fit in...a bit...slowly. cool. yeah. cool. ... ...

it could be because...

so...isn't it strange how much can change in a week's time. last weekend, was VERY LOW KEY...aka i spent a lot of time on my own. last week, i had a hard time being home friday night. it's not like i haven't done many a friday evening chillin with my pooch watching a rerun or two of the latest Grey's Anatomy episodes. sometimes i hate it, sometimes i don't. sometimes i'm home cause i have nothing else to do, and sometimes by choice....the results of moving to a huge city of people you don't know. Sometimes i'm in the mood to be realistic that it's not that i don't have friends here, i do, but a social life, a real, fulfilling social life, doesn't come over night, or over week, or month even. I've moved around ALOT in my life time, and it's always the second YEAR that i finally feel like i belong somewhere. Sometimes i am realistic and acknowledge that i know myself well, i know that i don't just up and make friends with any joe shmoe that wants to hang out. i take my time, i make my social time time worthwhile, and more often than not, i enjoy and need my alone time. Last week, was the 'not' part, i was not thinking realistically, and i was Not in the mood. i was also adjusting to not being with my sister 24/7 like i had been the previous 12 or so days.

needless to say, THis week was different, This week...today...i was looking forward to coming home, walking the pooch (a MUCH overdue event), putting in Bobby which i rented last weekend and haven't had time to watch yet, curling up on the couch and hanging out with notne other than myself.

part of my good mood is unexplainable, and part of it isn't. i had a good week. a hard week, but a good one. i was challenged countless times by the frustrated (not frustrating)...FrustratED staff that i have graciously been put in leadership of, and i feel that even though we are in the beginning stages of positive change, i think it is possible to make going to work a good thing, for all of us involved. i stayed at work today til 7pm doing things that are proving simply IMpossible to do when ANyone else is in the building because everyone chats all the time and i don't have a door to politely, yet consistantly, close. I have received positive feedback from 2 of my supervisors this week and had a great long conversation with one of them who has seen my struggles this week and encouraged me to continue on the road i have begun. (side note: it seems that purhaps the staff is looking to me to fix all of the previous problems of the team, and as tensions rise, they want me to pick their sides. however, how many different sides can one person be on at the same time...so, getting everyone on board of the Same side is my goal, the same side that works together with our clients as focus, etc.)

maybe i'm in a good mood because i'm going to a White Sox/Blue Jays game this weekend and i'm totally stoked cause i've wanted to see the Sox all summer, and now i get to see them against my favorite team ever...ok, so can i name a current Blue Jay player? no, but i'll never forget the team of 92/93 and the World Series game i saw where Joe Carter hit a 2 run home run to beat the Philadelphia Phillies. you can't beat that. so i'm excited anyways..pththth

or it's because i signed my lease for my apartment for another year, well, almost year, because i'll be outta here end of May instead of end of September...and holy crap, i felt surprisingly amazing that day cause i know i'm getting outta here. i didn't think it was that big a deal, but i'm really excited about the prospect of leaving this basement, bug infested place. ok, so maybe it's not That surprising, but considering the amazing location and convenience of where i live, i think i figured it would be less dramatic and more sad to leave. i guess peace of mind that bugs aren't probably crawling all over you when you sleep is better than a three block walk to the beach on any day of the year.

anyways, now that it's almost 9pm and i have to work tomorrow, i'm gonna get this party started, ditch the internet for a while and enjoy myself some good entertainment.

Later BEOtches...::winks::

back to reality, oh there goes gravity...

nothing like a little eminem to get back to the blogging...and back to work, and back to...everything really. where to start, where to start.

so, i went on vacation, it was great. i seriously believe that my family needs to be less possessive of their own state and begin to move closer to IL. what's not to like?? seriously.

the trip included hanging out with my sister for my bday and heading to gr to drink a little at Rocky's to continue the celebration. we headed to NY to fix up dad's house and help alleviate some stress. we worked on the kitchen, a bedroom, the garage and basement. lots of work, trust me. and after a round of golf (of which i somewhat held my own), a few nights out with some old friends, and enjoying breakfast at Jim's, we headed back to the midwest, and eventually back to chi town for work and my sis's bday celebration, including shopping and great food. going back to work was difficult, but not as difficult as it was to say goodbye to my sis and bro again.

today was good though, after a frustrating week last week at beach volleyball, i decided to go back anyways and continue to try to build some friendships. it was better this week...

i find myself now, sitting and watching Arrested Development episodes which i've been renting because they were recommended and though they're strange, they're great. and plus, Zach Braff was just on in a short segment, and Jason Bateman, who doesn't want to watch complete dysfunction and Jason Bateman...entertaining And HOT.

anyways, like usual, i finish with some great pics...
yay for people always ready for a good time!!...
time for a drink or two...
pool...saweet...
dad, me and sis in our backyard in NY...saying goodbye
That's the CN tower from across the lake...on the highway near St. Catherine's....sooo awesome:)
uh, brayson thought that this wall was the door...and every time he came down the stairs he would wait by it as if to be ready to go outside. we had one more flight of stairs to descend before we got to the real door. i love him, but he's not all that bright sometimes!!!
me and sis on navy pier...happy bday girlie!!
so, a little blurry, but that's where i live. three blocks in...!!

birthday vacation

so, i've been home...so i haven't been on the internet much. taking a week off from work is AMAZING...especially when spent with sis, bro and dad. we've been fixing up the house. it's tough work but good:):) golf tomorrow am, and then headed back to the midwest sunday.

hope all is well, and thanks to all for the birthday well wishes. much appreciated:)

it's arrested development

[repeated line]
Gob: I've made a huge mistake.
===
Gob: My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry.
===
Tobias Fünke: Come on, Lindsay. We've had some great times.
[a white screen appears with text reading: "Footage not found."]
===
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
[she leaves]
George Michael Bluth: That would be amazing.
===
[repeated line]
Annyong: Annyong.
===
Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I *deceived* you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
===
Michael Bluth: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille Bluth: It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.
===
Narrator: Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.
===
Michael: You want to be in charge?
Gob: Yeah.
Michael: You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want?
Gob: What kind of vacation time does it offer?
===
Gob: Well, I'm not the president, so I dont deserve a fancy phone.
Tobias Fünke: Well, the Blue Man Group may need me, and I *do* deserve a fancy phone.
Narrator: They didn't.
[Tobias flips his phone across the room]
Narrator: And he doesn't.
===

Buster: Delivery from the kitchen!

Narrator But unfortunately, he was already there.

Lucille is there on top of Oscar, making out over the kitchen island.

Buster (gasps) Mother!

Lucille Buster! I thought you were in Mexico!

Buster So did I!

upon request...

so, here's a pic of my courtyard...which is really just an area in between a wall from another building and my building. My door is on the left in the back by the bikes and that white chair thing, (which is gross cause brayson pees on it. it will also fall over with a small push of a finger).

as you can see, some house plants have been added to ...help the appearance??? and i didn't put that plastic bag on the brick wall on the right. it was there this morning when i left for work.
turns out that these little guys, that i thought the neighbors put there were put there by my landlord, who i hate, so i don't mind nearly as much if brayson walks all over them...however, the neighbors do think that it's 'nice' of the landlord to have tried to help and that it does look nicer. boooo hisssss. and they are nice neighbors, not the one that's afraid of brayson, so i don't want to make them hate me. they had tons of people over last night, and they seem really nice. we'll see...

new neighbors...boo..

so, call me crazy, but even though i like a city full of people, i'm somewhat of a private person and have enjoyed it when both other people who live off of the court yard with me moved out b/c then i had it to myself.

however...

about a month ago, people moved in to one of the apartments, and it's frustrating because they mentioned the first day i met them that they could 'spruce up' the long time-ago garden that my dog likes to walk all over when he's doing his 'business'. normally my dog roams the courtyard as he pleases, but now, as of last week, and then more again today, the neighbors planted shrubs and greens in the freakin 'garden'. PLANTS, like they wasted their own money to try to make this joint look better. and while i can understand that a little,...their little plants are NOT going to make the whole courtyard look better. and plus, now i feel bad every time i take out brayson. i don't mind cleaning up after him all the time, to keep things cleaner, but he's picky in where he poops and he's used to going where they now have plants, and i feel bad letting him walk there, but he always walks there, and i didn't vote on planting crap in the garden. so... also, someone new moved into the place right next to me, and the other day she winced and got all afraid of brayson when he was excited (aka barking) to meet her. so, now if i don't leash him every time i take him out, i worry about them coming home and him going up to them, excited (aka barking) as they're trying to go tho their own apartment. the last guy who lived there was a hermit and i saw him about 6 times in 7 months.

i guess i've been spoiled at letting him go out on his own and not worrying about where he goes, but frankly, it's really nice and easy. now i have to be considerate of other people...stupid being nice.

not that i mean to complain. i really have a lot to be thankful for but that's for next post...:)