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11.28.2005

this post is only for those who find themselves blessedly single this holiday season: all others must leave the site Immediately

'Why aren’t you married yet?’ or 'Are you seeing anyone?' the question is guaranteed to come...sometimes by well meaning individuals, and sometimes by others who rather enjoy making themselves feel better by putting you on the spot. As Miranda of Sex and the City so wonderfully explains in an episode about being asked the question and getting the pitied face and the "oh, you'll find 'the one' someday, don't you worry," for most married people, it's an uncomfortable subject. single people make married people feel uncomfortable. and so married people try to wish us the best and instill hope as a way for them to get through the uncomfortable truth that 'oh no, not everyone has their 'other half''. shouldn't everyone have an 'and guest' at a wedding or 'his and her' towels in their bathroom. Unfortunately, being single in this society is seen as a bad thing, as less-than being married, as 'still on the journey to being whole'...crap. however, in attempts to go against the grain of societal expectation in finding a mate...here are some answers you can use when asked the questions about why you haven't yet tied the knot.

‘It takes time to separate the best from the rest’
‘Johnny Depp is taken.’
‘Just lucky, I guess.’
‘Have you seen me naked?’”
‘I’m taking my time to make sure I do it right the first time.’
‘It gives my mother something to live for.’
'I look at marriage as an old-fashioned, patrician, indentured-slave practice that imprisons people in a backbreaking, emotionally bereft sinkhole.’”
‘Because a couple of years ago I got a great deal on a 50 pound box of condoms, and I want to get my money’s worth.’ (haha..thats hilarious)
‘One thing at a time. Let me get the sex change first.’
‘I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo-doll rituals.’
‘No one has been smart enough to ask me yet’
'That's a good question, I've never thought about it before!’ and walk away with a huge smile on your face.
'I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America'

Well, there you have it...ideas you can use...though i'm sure some will be more affective than others...hehe. eitherway...i know, deep down...that being single rocks. once we do get married, we have the rest of our lives to be stuck with someone else...enjoy freedom while you can...rise up, singles and unite!!

2 Comments:

Blogger ehzee said...

okay... my favorites are:

'I look at marriage as an old-fashioned, patrician, indentured-slave practice that imprisons people in a backbreaking, emotionally bereft sinkhole.’”

‘One thing at a time. Let me get the sex change first.’

The first smacks the bitch ass in the face that brought it up to you and the second makes it so damn uncomfortable for them that they regret ever asking. (aka they learn to NEVER ask it again!) Good post!

9:48 PM  
Blogger bexala said...

My favorite....

"That's a good question...I've never thought of that before."

I'd like to add to it:

"I'm going to go right out and nab me a boyfriend right now...hopefully I'll be engaged by Christmas! Wow! Thanks for the idea. This finding a mate for life thing sounds really easy."

Loved the post, sweetie.

1:20 PM  

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