monotony...

so, i've realized that lately my life is drama-less, there is no drama, nothing extra ordinary, nothing to chat about, nothing really good or really bad. it just Is. and i'm fighting all urges to create drama just so i have something else to think about other than what i've been thinking about, which seems to be nothing interesting. i even find i'm talking myself out of liking someone i don't even like, just to have something to talk about, seeing as he's the only guy in this whole city that has shown any extra positive interest in me lately, other than inappropriate clients and married coworkers of course.

holy crap.

and it's not like i'm not doing things, or meeting people. i started playing softball on sunday afternoons, which involves all but 4 guys...the rest are girls, and poorly playing girls, but it's active and it's new people. i've been going out with friends to restaurants for dinner, and bars for drinks and the beach for walking; work has been going well, i've recently been recognized for my hard work, and things with coworkers/staff are going better than the past. and this is all good, and i'm certainly not complaining about it.

i'm not an overly dramatic person, introspective as all hell, but not dramatic, and i don't need/feed off of gossip or crazy events/relationships/scandel...but i Do struggle with just being, just being content with where things are. and i'm not sure if that's just a drive for things to be better than they are, if it's boredom, or if it's the fact that i need intense therapy to learn how to be happy. see, i'm making a big deal about not having one big deal to talk about.

geesh.

oh well. maybe i should just go to sleep.

or maybe i just need to get laid...

(that was a joke...cue laughing)

or was it...

maybe i'll just get married and get it over with. marriage certainly seems to be all the rage these days...

and then i'll have tons of drama...

Perfect...