i don't know what to write about.

but i know a new post is SO needed. so i figured i'd update. Christmas was good. i'm back at work. sister and dad are at my place. Shopping will happen tomorrow and sunday for sure. i'm planning on GR for new years. that's it. life continues:)

can you believe it?

why is it that they don't play Friends reruns anymore during normal hours? it's on at 11:30pm after Sex and the City. I've realized that pre-prime-time shows consist of crap like According to Jim, Still Standing (which i didn't even know what it was until i was sick last week), and Two and a Half men. None of those shows are good, and it's unfortunate that the shows of 'my time' aren't played anymore during hours that i'm actually awake. i'm staying up now to watch it cause i was up anyways, and it's so rare, that i figured i'd try to enjoy it. turns out i'm falling asleep, and delirious cause i'm writing a post about it. anyways...i miss Friends and Sex and the City and normal shows that are shown at normal hours of the day.

back to the real world

a little paranoia set in yesterday when my eyes were still a little 'messy' yesterday morning, and i decided not to infect everyone that i served at the restaurant. "Here's your order of over easy eggs, bacon, homefries, oh, and an added possibility of being sick and gross during the holidays. enjoy your meal!!!"

So, i stayed home. AGain. for the 4th day in a row. maybe i was being drastic, but i didn't want to take chances. I did, however, enjoy a 2.5 mile walk in blistering weather by the water. which might be dumb for the health, but much needed for the spirit that was going crazy in my apartment. Brayson liked it too. Today i was at work. the first day i've worn makeup in what has seemed like forever, and while i don't like wearing glasses to the restaurant cause they kind of 'get in the way', everything went well...besides the whole not making any money and wanting to quit part!!

the walk yesterday was good. i did some serious sole -searching...looking at a year being over and looking at what i have to show for it...a bit of pre-new year's thinking. i can't believe i've been here for a year and a half...and that this place is really becoming home. i've had good things happen this year...i've met new people, i've started a different position at work, i've bought a car...and still so many things i want to do here. A friend told my mom last week while she was here for the weekend that being in Chicago is addicting...in her response to the thought of leaving. i understand the sentiment, because even though i may have experienced a lot already, there's Always another reason to stay...another 'something' to go to or experience. and so much that i haven't seen of chicago yet. I do feel that even though it's been a good year, i could have done more...and with some honest pondering, i realize that i am afraid. i am strong in some ways, but fear keeps me back from some things ...like joining a community soft ball team cause i don't know anyone else playing. i don't want to look back on my time here someday, wishing i had just had a little more courage so i could have Really experienced this place. though i do have to say that sometimes i don't do these things because i work two jobs and sometimes i'm tired, or i'm in Grand Rapids watching my brother's band...(who are playing at Intersection NEW YEAR"S EVE, tickets are on sale now...however...my pre-New Year's resolution...is to not let my own personal issues hold me back. there's NO reason for it. and as i don't believe in New Year's resolutions, i feel this is fitting because it happened just shy of two weeks early!!

Other things i want to do in Chicago:
1. get involved in the music scene...for real
2.go to more films...i've been all about documentaries lately...i'm hoping to go to Helvetica tomorrow...even if my friend Rachel can't make it:)
3.expand my weekend activities
4.join a sports group...softball, tennis, volleyball, kickball...whatever it may be. Beach volleyball through the church was great this summer...but i can do more.
5.foster and grow some good friendships i already have
6.go on a freakin date or two...;)
6.5. follow politics and world events more closely and be able to have good conversations about them...and vote intelligently for the 2008 election.
7.do a pottery class...ok, not to be so cliche, but i really would like to make something cool on a pottery wheel
8.expand my knowledge and skill in the realm of food...Yes Bex...i want to learn to cook, rn't u proud of me??...at least something new so that i stop eating mac and cheese so damn much...) (ooh, i've been afraid to tell you, it's gotten worse, last time i was at Aldi i bought Ramen Noodles...eeek there were 20 for like TWO damn DOllars!!)
9.get my finances in order, and learn more so that i am smart and wise with my money.
10.get married, have 1.5 kids and live happily ever after...oh wait, i don't want to do that

i thought about posting this, and i figured, even though some of it might be hard to say, it's out there, and i can be held accountable. these are things i want. so i'm gonna go for it. next year i can look back and see how things went (not that i expect to complete all of these things in 12 months of course), and figure out where to go from there.

so let's get to it...

oh the boredom...

my 2nd day into pink eye and i'm bored out of my mind. DC, you were right. i woke up this morning and had to walk around blind for a bit until i got a warm cloth and was able to soak and clean my eyes out. sooo nasty. and after i was unfortunately awakened by an employee 45 minutes before work would have started for me, provided i Wasn't sick and Was going to work, i've been up since 7:45 and trying to stop from twiddling my thumbs.

List of things i've done today:
1.cleaned my entire apartment,
2.clipped my dog's toenails
3.wrote a bunch of christmas cards
4.mailed the christmas cards i had stamps for
5.i read a book
6.emailed coworkers about work stuff
7.watched a movie instead of stupid day-time soap operas
8.ate 2 cups of icecream
9.gargled salt water to try to get rid of my sore throat
10.gave myself eye drops every 2-4 hrs and drank lots of liquids to try to get better.

i saved baking cookies and doing laundry for tomorrow.

so, i know that i won't get a lot of sympathy votes for having 'vacation' for three days. but it's harder than you think. if i had three days to go out and enjoy chicago, that would be one thing, but it's being stuck in the apartment. i brought my cards to the mailbox, but i seriously am scary looking with two really red, swollen and make-up-less eyes. i might head to a diner for brunch tomorrow just to get out of the house. my dog is certainly glad i'm home...and though i got honestly concerned comments from many friends in regards to my post about giving him up for adoption, i really was just venting and i DO love him to death. He's been a sweet heart and i will never abandon my baby. apologies for the need for concern and thanks for your helpful comments. I have actually tried to walk him more, and be more consistent with him. So thanks!

off to finish watching the rerun of Grey's Anatomy...

Dr's orders...

so...

this morning, i woke up with crusty and red eyes. i started to panic. PINK EYE?? oh NO. i Can't have Pink eye...i have to work. i missed work on monday because of bad flu-like symptoms. i Can't possibly have to stay home the rest of the week. After trying to get ahold of a doctor, and after both eyes seemed to clear up the more i got ready for work/or to see the doctor, i decided to head to work and hope for the best. My doctor called me back before her work day began to tell me at first she thought it must be pink eye, but then when i told her i've had bad cold-like symptoms, that 'it could definitely be just from your cold, so if you want me to treat you over the phone, i can, or you can come in at 11am this morning." thinking it's dumb to have her 'treat' me over the phone if she just said it could be either one thing or the other, i decided to go in at 11am. i didn't want her to 'think' it was pink eye and tell me to stay home for three days if it really was just a cold. So, in good faith, i went to work, carefully cleaned aftermyself whereever i went, and did one visit before i went to see the Dr. not to be nasty, but the puss continued, and i knew it was pink eye...turns out, i was right, and i had to call and tell everyone i'll be out for the next three days. this is like THE WORST time of the year to be out of the office for 4 days in one week. and i'll probably be doing a lot of work from home..i was making phone calls all afternoon, but now, i have three days to pamper myself and make sure i get better. i better get to it!!!

not like it's all fun though, my eye hurts and is nasty...thank goodness for eye drops!!

no pain, no gain

to make sure that this post isn't inappropriate, as it Is posted on the World Wide Web...i'll keep it brief, however, it's nice to know that sometimes, hard work, uncomfortable, difficult hard work brings reward. One of my most challenging meetings thus far took place last week. it seems that because of it, things are better so far this week. i hope this trend continues...

a few discoveries...

1. i fit in boys Lg shirts. i figured this out yesterday as i went to a few places to find some t-shirts/jerseys for the Bulls game i'm going to on Monday night. turns out, boys large fit quite well. the nice thing is they're cheaper than men's (or women's if they had them...of course they don't)...why didn't think of this before? i think for things like hoodies and long sleeve shirts, i'll frequent Target's boys section. Creapy?? um...no, really it's not.

2.i never knew i'd get so excited about a snow fall. it finally feels like Christmas cause it's FINALLY snowing outside. well, it Was snowing and now it's a nasty sleet/rain that's cold and wet and no fun when walking 6 blocks to the grocery store. But working in the restaurant today, it was great to look outside and see the snow first fall, then accumulate...buses slow, people wear hats and mittens and wipe away snowflakes from their eyelashes. it's great!

3.i'm not really a dog lover. i have decided that i'm giving mine up for adoption. he's driving me nuts and i'm tired of replacing stuff in my apartment because he can't chill the f out. why do i bother cleaning up? seriously? he just gets into the garbage and has it strewn all over the apartment, or, once i put the garbage under the sink so that he doesn't get into it anymore, he rips the blinds down or rips holes in my couch cover. i'm SOO tired of him. i'm currently down a cup and plate and a window shade. the new couch cover is actually still in tact, but it's only a matter of time. and those of you out there thinking that it's really the owner that communicates that this behavior is ok, or that i need to be more the 'pack leader' so that he knows his own role, i know it's true. but i don't know what i've done to make this occurance consistant and i don't know what to do to get out of it. he's currently in the bathroom...cause i didn't want to hit him.

4. i actually like my apartment. the bug issue has decreased and i've figured out a way to keep warm enough not to complain anymore. the space is really cool and it's going on 2 yrs now that i've been here. i think i'll put the thoughts of buying a home on hold. i did a bit of research anyways, and don't think it's right for me. i can hang out here for a bit longer (with or without a dog!!)

i'm hungry. i'm gonna go eat.