City etiquette…

There are many things I have yet to learn about city living. many things to get used to, learn about and experience...the first night i was here i went to a Food Mart for some bottled water and ice cream and i asked how late the store was open...the owner looked at me and said, "you're not from around here are you?"

what i HAVE learned is the severe importance of having a city dog…of which I am still in want as of today. City dog etiquette is something I’m still learning about, and frantically trying to teach my dog (which for anyone who knows anything about dog-psychology…if I’m frantic, my dog isn’t gonna learn shit, so you can only guess how well i fit in around here). A city dog, I’ve come to find out includes many different things. This dog must walk in a straight line, and ignore everything in its path, be that people, trees, baby-carriages, flowers and most of all other dogs. A dog that gets excited about another dog within 50 feet of him is abnormal. A foot and a half is acceptable for a dog to be interested in another dog, but that all depends on How interested a dog is in the other dog. If the dog wages his tail too wildly or if one hair on the back of the dog’s back rises, it’s a no-no. though one won’t look down on you quite so much for all of that, unless of course, your dog happens to make a noise. If your dog growls, or, (God forbid) barks…you’re done, and you obviously have NO control of your k-9 What so ever. You obviously aren’t from the city and you should really just take your things and head back to wherever the hell you came from, b/c dogs in the city just Don’t bark. I don’t know, but from what I have learned since I was 3 and learning about my barnyard/zoo and home animals, pigs say Oink Oink, and dogs say Woof Woof. The guy coming to fix my kitchen sink got one bark out of my dog and he refused to come in my apartment. Don’t dogs protect their homes from strangers? And don’t dogs use the method of barking to do so? No, Mr. Landlord, my dog is not going to rip the handy-man to shreds because he barked at him. He’s not a man eating beast who should be sedated or really, just put down because who could ever interact with such a ferocious monster. A woman on the street tonight, who thought I was someone else b/c she was asking me if my dog was “Gertrude” looked in utter shock when brayson barked at her little dog on the sidewalk. I was trying to explain that, no, my beautiful black lab/shepherd wouldn’t EVER be named anything near something as horrid as Gertrude and that she was sadly mistaken, and her dog got a little more excited than brayson was expecting, which caught him off guard and he let out one, solid, solitary bark. The woman pulled her leash (and therefore dog) in toward her and quickly walked off, probably trying to calm her excited pooch by stating that she’d Never let him near such a brute ever again.

But my dog isn’t always the one to bark first, which is good. There has been progress, and in all honesty, he’s much better than he was when we first got here…which is quite good for a just over a week. Later on our walk tonight, we ran across a woman coming from her apartment building with two little dogs, one of whom began to bark frantically the second brayson even looked her way. The other of the two little dogs was obviously a better city dog as she walked by brayson as if he wasn’t even there. The woman walking the dogs apologized profusely, and emphatically stated 3 times in regards to the barking dog that “she’s not mine, she’s not mine, she’s not mine”…as if the mere thought that she was responsible for his horrid behavior was repulsive. Just a note, brayson, the near-city-dog that he is, barked once and then ignored the two dogs and the apologizing owner, or not-owner.

I will say though…I’m sure brayson will be fine. And I really don’t care if he gets too excited when he sees and smells other dogs. HE”S A DOG. DOG”S BARK. HELLO. Plus, he’s learning to sit every time I stop…which is at nearly all road crossings. At first I had to tell him to sit, but he’s picked it up quite quickly and nearly instinctively sits when I slow down. Soo cute
And, he LOVES his noisy toy…the one which I didn’t take the noise-maker out of just to see how long it would take him to destroy it, but he LOVES it…and couldn’t be cuter with it…though he does drive me crazy with the noise.

Maybe he’ll never be a true city dog, but I’m not sure I care…who wants to follow all the rules anyways. What would life be without a few shocked stares every now and then…screw city dog etiquette…