i actually did it

turns out, i won't have to be as crazy as i said i would be...i won't have to move to the Windy City, to an apartment, without a job. yes, i have done it, i have found employment, and i start in two weeks. holy shit:)

as can be an expected result of such events, i have certainly experienced a wide array of emotions in the last few days. after having gone to Chicago for the interview, i wasn't having good feelings about it, namely due to a few issues that ended up being worked out with the offer of the position, but i was going back and forth between wanting the job, and hoping they didn't offer it to me, preparing myself to turn it down. probably a good place to be b/c i knew that i could take it or leave it, and i wasn't going to just take it because it was the only offer on the table at this present time. the thought of still having to look for a job, though taxing, and i'm exhausted from it, almost seemed a better option at the time than being placed in a situation, committing for a full year, to something that would not be a good situation. i thought, if i can't work toward some goal (i.e. working hard at paying off loans, working toward licensure) and not merely surviving, i'd rather hold out til something better came along. however, it turns out that i can receive supervision for licensure, and the salary wasn't so close to the poverty line as originally expected...also, other positives seemed to come out of the woodwork, and they seemed to outweigh the negatives. so, after 24 hours to 'make the decision', i called today to accept their offer. i did it, i found an apartment and employment in a city of my choice, CRAZY:):) (though i believe it's much more Providence than craziness, and i certainly don't take all credit for it:))

now, the emotions set in about what the next few weeks will bring. relief, sadness, apprehension, excitement...a rollercoaster, that's for sure. after i made the phone call excepting the job, i was kind of out of it...as the reality of all of this set in...and it hasn't completely set in even yet. but i remember before i moved to morgantown, how it's such a strange feeling, like 'this is going to be my life' and now it has been 2 years here, and there have been so many things i've done i never thought i would do, things i thought would happen and didn't, and it has been my life, i've done it on my own, and been successful. so now i look ahead, knowing a days worth of my job, a small but fabulous area around my apartment, and have the same feeling...this is going to be my life, and i'm going to do it, b/c i know i can. (does this sound like i'm trying to convince myself...? haha...cause i think i am)

i'm soooo excited to be closer to my brother and some of my dearest friends. and while i'm sure life will be busy and i'll still not see them as much as i want to, the option is so much more available, and i'm totally stoked:)

on the flip side, there are people here that i will miss and am sad to say goodbye to. people who have made my experience here in morgantown , WV good....my students and the lounge, my co-workers (Admissions, ED, PAU (and hot EMT/paramedics), and classmates (most of whom have moved away already), i truly have been blessed, and i will miss you...but now you all have a great place to visit...as do i :) so, thank you everyone who believed in me, who believed that 'everything will be ok' when i didn't, and who have wished the best for me. you have helped me make it this far, and i thank you.

ok, this sounds like a sappy, cliche'-filled speech if i've ever heard one, but it's tru.

so, that's an update on my current goings on. i can't believe i Don't have to fill out another online application...at least not for a while...SAAWEEEEET.